Caring for someone else is a kind and generous act. Sharing time and energy with someone who needs extra help or enriched social care can make our lives worthwhile.
If you are a carer, then you know how overwhelming caring for someone else can sometimes make you feel. The physical effort, psychological effort and overall responsibility for another person, coupled with twenty four hour attention can eventually overload carers.
No matter how good you are at caring [and I'm sure you are the very best of carers ~ doing everything in your power to ensure the person enjoys the finest of care and attention], when you are missing out on doing things for you, taking some exercise or being with friends, eventually, your body or mind might go on strike / slip into melt-down / feel all washed up / burnt out / hang out the 'Gone Fishing' sign or just become so fatigued that every bit of energy has slipped out ...
We're not machines and the people we are caring for wouldn't want us to work or worry ourselves into an exhausted condition without enough energy to enjoy life.
Discussions with many carers often ended in the same conclusions or messages:
~ DON'T FORGET THE CARER
~ GET SOME HELP!
~ DON'T WAIT TILL YOU'RE BURNED OUT'
So here's a collection of tips [in no specific order] collected from people and texts I've come across over the past twelve months:
[please feel free to email any tips you wish to add to the next list: gmhesketh@yahoo.co.uk]
Arm yourself with information. Collect as much information as you can about the type of dementia the person you care for has been diagnosed with.
Find a local support group or carer centre. [Check the library/community centre/newspaper]
Don't think you can manage alone ~ this is a 24/7 post
Find a support team within your family and friends to share the load so that you can take some short breaks from caring.
Find a local day centre for person you care for. He or she might enjoy a different environment.
If you're feeling worried, anxious, or guilty, find someone to talk to:
Friend - Family - Doctor - Support Worker - Church or Place of Worship
Try not to feel guilty. This might only make you feel more guilty.
Things to do together: Try to help the person maintain skills rather than doing everything for the person.
Jigsaw puzzles - Cards - Sing - Read out loud to the person you care for - Play a musical instrument.
Make a mini garden in a large tub or plant a herb garden on your window ledge.
Sort photographs. Make a mini photograph album up. Name all the people.
And remember, if a person with dementia is showing signs of agitation or anger, don't take it personally ~ he or she may not be cross with you; it's more likely they are frustrated at not being able to express their needs.
Write a journal ~ just let your feelings out ~ shout ~ scream ~ yell on the page ~ it's up to you ...
Most of all, take care of you ... find something to do to enjoy ... relax ... plan a healthy diet ... get plenty of fresh air and some exercise ... do something new ... find a pastime that ensures you 'switch off' now and again ... bake - paint - swim - write - play bowls ... the list is endless ...
Off now to find more tips to add to the list ...
Gillian
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